Post by Dark Horse on Jul 25, 2012 15:44:31 GMT
Ugh. Where to begin? This movie had so much hype!
Well. It's two hours and forty three minutes long for a start, and I honestly think they could have edited out an hour of that and not lost any plot or character development.
Spoilers ahead.
Bane's accent was annoying. Sometimes he sounded like a growly Darth Vader, and other times he sounded like a homosexual Victorion pervert. Most of the time he was completely inaudible though, even in the important scenes.
Why did the Senator fall in love with Catwoman? No expaination was given.
The cop who knew Batman's identity from "A look in his eye" when they were both at an orphange when they were kids? How retarded is that? How the fuck could someone work that out? I hated that part so much. With how important that information is, and how tight all the other movies were, and obviously how long the film was, this is the best Goyer could do? Bullshit. At least have the cop suspecting Wayne, and maybe stakeout Wayne manor and maybe see the Tumbler return there to make sure or something. Ugh again.
Next we have the knee brace explaination. O.k., so a knee brace fixes his leg. What about his shoulder, elbows, spine and concussions? The Dr mentioned them all as equally debilitating, yet a small knee brace completely repairs his whole body? That's crap. Why make him an old cripple in the first place? Made no sense and ruined the believability of what was to follow.
Then we have the first Batman vs Bane fight. Why didn't Batman use any Bat gadgets on him (I mean real ones, like batarangs, the zipline thing etc)? He used them on all the goons leading up to the fight, and knew he was overmatched against Bane. More sloppy, predictable writing.
Then he forgives Catwoman for double crossing him without any reaction at all? She led him to his death and he didn't even mention it? For fuck's sake that was retarded.
Now let's think about the bomb in Gotham. Why didn't they just blow it up right away? They went with a ticking bomb predictable story. Again, poor, predictable writing. The league of shadows were cool because they made sense. They were believeable. Now we get this Bond shit out of them? For no reason? They would have just blow the city up at the first chance, and not risked three months of someone being able to save it.
Next is a location gripe. Philly did not work as Gotham. They didn't even try to make it look dark and gothic. I half expected Rocky Balboa to run past in most of the scenes. Distracting and avoidable, especially when Chicago looked so good as Gotham.
Next we have Jim Gordon and his gang following the bomb truck. Was it me, or did the patrols just completely ignore them the whole time? The city was on lockdown yet they were walking around for hours in the middle of the street and not even get questioned?
Then we have the cops underground for THREE MONTHS, then they come out looking like they'd jsut come out of the station, all clean shaven, nice uniforms, no aversion to sunlight, and in prime condition to fight. Yeah, right.
The heavy weapons Tumblers shooting and missing the Bat during the chase scene? The Bat was literally two feet away from them! It would have been impossible to miss! I thought they actually hit the Bat, and the Bat's armour was strong enough to absorb the impact, but my friends corrected me. It's John Woo all over again.
The end was predictable as well, though I guess that's forgivable seeing as it was the final part of the trilogy.
I'll add more hate when I can remember it.
Now the good stuff.
There's not much. I wanted more Ra's Al Ghul, but I did like the Talia reveal and that Bane was her protector. The heavy weapon Tumblers were cool, even if they couldn't shoot a fucking helicopter two inches away. Robin was also cool, if he put a mask on I would have hated it.
Catwoman was the best thing about this movie, she really worked the Julie Newmar vibe (Newmar was always my favourite Catwoman - Pfieffer close second).
A friend of mine put it best though. This movie constantly built (sometimes infuriatingly slowly), but never delivered. There were no wow moments at all.
5 out of 10
Well. It's two hours and forty three minutes long for a start, and I honestly think they could have edited out an hour of that and not lost any plot or character development.
Spoilers ahead.
Bane's accent was annoying. Sometimes he sounded like a growly Darth Vader, and other times he sounded like a homosexual Victorion pervert. Most of the time he was completely inaudible though, even in the important scenes.
Why did the Senator fall in love with Catwoman? No expaination was given.
The cop who knew Batman's identity from "A look in his eye" when they were both at an orphange when they were kids? How retarded is that? How the fuck could someone work that out? I hated that part so much. With how important that information is, and how tight all the other movies were, and obviously how long the film was, this is the best Goyer could do? Bullshit. At least have the cop suspecting Wayne, and maybe stakeout Wayne manor and maybe see the Tumbler return there to make sure or something. Ugh again.
Next we have the knee brace explaination. O.k., so a knee brace fixes his leg. What about his shoulder, elbows, spine and concussions? The Dr mentioned them all as equally debilitating, yet a small knee brace completely repairs his whole body? That's crap. Why make him an old cripple in the first place? Made no sense and ruined the believability of what was to follow.
Then we have the first Batman vs Bane fight. Why didn't Batman use any Bat gadgets on him (I mean real ones, like batarangs, the zipline thing etc)? He used them on all the goons leading up to the fight, and knew he was overmatched against Bane. More sloppy, predictable writing.
Then he forgives Catwoman for double crossing him without any reaction at all? She led him to his death and he didn't even mention it? For fuck's sake that was retarded.
Now let's think about the bomb in Gotham. Why didn't they just blow it up right away? They went with a ticking bomb predictable story. Again, poor, predictable writing. The league of shadows were cool because they made sense. They were believeable. Now we get this Bond shit out of them? For no reason? They would have just blow the city up at the first chance, and not risked three months of someone being able to save it.
Next is a location gripe. Philly did not work as Gotham. They didn't even try to make it look dark and gothic. I half expected Rocky Balboa to run past in most of the scenes. Distracting and avoidable, especially when Chicago looked so good as Gotham.
Next we have Jim Gordon and his gang following the bomb truck. Was it me, or did the patrols just completely ignore them the whole time? The city was on lockdown yet they were walking around for hours in the middle of the street and not even get questioned?
Then we have the cops underground for THREE MONTHS, then they come out looking like they'd jsut come out of the station, all clean shaven, nice uniforms, no aversion to sunlight, and in prime condition to fight. Yeah, right.
The heavy weapons Tumblers shooting and missing the Bat during the chase scene? The Bat was literally two feet away from them! It would have been impossible to miss! I thought they actually hit the Bat, and the Bat's armour was strong enough to absorb the impact, but my friends corrected me. It's John Woo all over again.
The end was predictable as well, though I guess that's forgivable seeing as it was the final part of the trilogy.
I'll add more hate when I can remember it.
Now the good stuff.
There's not much. I wanted more Ra's Al Ghul, but I did like the Talia reveal and that Bane was her protector. The heavy weapon Tumblers were cool, even if they couldn't shoot a fucking helicopter two inches away. Robin was also cool, if he put a mask on I would have hated it.
Catwoman was the best thing about this movie, she really worked the Julie Newmar vibe (Newmar was always my favourite Catwoman - Pfieffer close second).
A friend of mine put it best though. This movie constantly built (sometimes infuriatingly slowly), but never delivered. There were no wow moments at all.
5 out of 10
Happy in his folly, the fool embraces the Devil 
